Transforming Our Relationship with Money
Lately, I’ve been talking to a pig.
His name is Piglet. He lives on my desk.
Named after a fictional character from A. A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh books, Piglet is the brave and steadfast companion of Winnie-the-Pooh. Despite his small stature and timid nature, Piglet has many adventures in which he must apply his courage to conquer his fears.
In a lot of ways, we are like Piglet – applying courage to conquer our fears –especially in the areas of wealth, health, relationships and vocation.
After the challenges I’ve experienced in the last two and half years, I’m on a mission to examine and transform my relationship with money – hence the appearance of Piglet.
My Piglet is a little, red piggy bank. (When I was a young teenager, I did have a real, live pet pig whose name was Sir Pygmy Hamlet Havalena, Hannibal, Hog the Great, Sultan of the Shenandoah…but I digress and that’s a story for another time.)
Piglet came into my life just about the time the pandemic started. He was my inspiration for continuing my exercise program of walking up and down the driveway here at the coffee farm. At an altitude of 4300 ft and a pitch of 15 degrees, it was a great little workout. And, for every time I went up and down, Piglet received a quarter.
These days, Piglet is fat and sassy with quarters, nickels, dimes and even the dollar bills he’s consumed. The problem is my bank account is not so fat and sassy. Why is that?
There have been times in my life when my finances have been flush and abundant. I could blame the recent changes in the stock market, the pandemic or a multitude of other factors, but since I’ve dedicated myself to taking response-ability for my life, I decided it was time to figure out what’s going on internally.
It’s common knowledge in the coaching world that thoughts create feelings which then inform our actions and create results. I’ve known this for a while but somehow, I thought that maybe my beliefs around money were not that “bad.” Pay attention. Do you hear the judgment here? (We know that judgement covers up our deeper need.) If I’m judging that my thoughts can be bad, then I’m also judging that they can be “good,” which is another form of judgment. Thoughts are neither good nor bad, they just are. By judging that my thoughts were not “too bad,” I was going into spiritual bypass. I was bypassing the very lessons that life was offering and I was living in Lala Land. Oops.
Most of us have areas in our life where we go unconscious. Since I aspire to live consciously in all areas of life, the challenge was clear. Take a long look at my relationship with money, listen deeply and take whatever heart-based action was called for in order to transform my relationship and my life.
This is what I’ve discovered so far:
I had an unconscious story about money. It goes something like this:
Money is scarce. You have to work very, very hard to make money.
I have to spend it quickly or hoard it. If I don’t buy it now, I won’t have it. If I buy it now, I won’t have resources for later.
And a recent one, “I’m too old to make money. It’s too late. I cannot create a comfortable, reliable source of income for my retirement. There’s not enough time.”
I don’t know how to do this.
If I am successful, I’ll be overwhelmed with work, I won’t have control over my time.
I won’t have time to myself and for my family and friends.
If people know I’m struggling with money, they’ll think I’m a fraud.
The Catch-22: Part of my money story is that if I have a lot of wealth, (The freedom and time to do what I want to do), then I won't have any freedom and time because I'll have to spend it all taking care of my money.
My unconscious belief was that taking care of money is difficult and I'll do it wrong. It's even more nefarious because it included false, ego-based desire (not heart-based) in wanting a lot of money so that I don't have to worry about anything – so that I can buy what I want, when I want it. It's a sneaky desire to go unconscious – around money. Ouch. Sorry, Piglet.
So how do we deal with a Catch-22, and how do we transform our relationship with money?
First, we listen. We need to know our stories (conditioning around money) and our desires. I’m reminded that all life unfolds in relationship, including our relationship with money. Piglet is my current personification of money. Do I really want to go unconscious in my relationship with Piglet? How do I want to relate to Piglet? What will we talk about? What will I feed him? How will I listen?
In listening to Piglet, what I hear is that Piglet has always been around. Piglet has never abandoned me, and Piglet has simply retreated when I did not treat him well.
What does Piglet want? Piglet wants my presence, my joy, to be together in relationship with me! Piglet, of course, is more than the personification of money. Piglet is about joy, love, abundance, faith and trust. Piglet is all about my relationship with the divine.
So here is what I desire to experience in my relationship with Piglet, Money and the Divine:
I want to have a joyous, respectful, committed relationship with money.
I want fun and adventure with money.
I want to spend time with money and to explore the abundance of the universe together.
I want to ENJOY AND LOVE MONEY (Thank you, LeAnne!)
I so want to have Money’s support, so that I have the resources and freedom to easily bring my soul-work to life through teaching, writing, having a best-selling book or more, creating art, traveling, being healthy and eating healthy food, having wonderful speaking engagements (when I want them), spending time with Steve, having a beautiful, sustainable home, being able to spend time with, and give to friends and family and engage in more philanthropy.
I want open myself to see, feel, know and experience that what I desire is already here.
Second, we feel our energetic resonance around our stories and conditioning. We pay attention to our bodies and if they experience contraction or expansion when we connect with money. When I re-read these heart-based desires, I can feel the contraction of fear rising. I let it rise. I notice the thoughts, “What will people think?” “Who am I to want this?” “What if, what if, what if…?” I let fear be. Then, I reread my heart-based desires with the intent of feeling the resonance, the vibration of my deepest desires. They feel expansive, fun, joyful and loving, fulfilling, and peaceful. This, I can whole-heartedly say YES to!
So now I have a clearer image and resonance of what I truly desire in my relationship with Piglet. That image is wonderful, but it won’t do me any good unless I take heart-based actions in order to transform my relationship and my life.
How do I do that?
Third we identify and take actions that are aligned with our heart. For me, heart-based action must contain the conscious resonance of my heart-based desires. To create what I desire, my actions must contain the resonance of expansiveness, fun, joy, love, fulfillment, peace and gratitude. To know what actions I can take, I simply ask, “What actions can I take right now that are in alignment with expansiveness, fun, you, love, fulfillment, peace and gratitude?
This journey in transforming our relationship with money is deeply personal. At times it’s scary, embarrassing and very, very vulnerable. It requires awareness, response-ability, energetic alignment, physical systems and actions. I am committed to awakening to what my life is teaching me – in every area of my life, and to living honestly and transparently. It’s an act of trust to share this with you, but please understand, it’s not about trusting you. This is about trusting life and what it is teaching me. This is about allowing that trust to infuse every corner of my life.
On that note, I want to share with you that I have opened a small support group for Conscious Wayfinders – people dedicated to living fully and consciously in all areas of their lives. If you are interested in expanding your awareness and transforming your life in the areas of wealth, health, relationships or your vocation, you are welcome to join us. We have three spots left.*
· The group is limited to six people.
· It will be held on Wednesdays at 6 pm EST.
· The group starts January 4th, 2023
· The cost of the group is $40/month (billed monthly) with a minimum sign-up of six months.
Please understand that this is not a “teaching” class. This is a facilitated support group, and as such, you bring the content – the areas of your life in which you would like assistance. I facilitate the conversation, and we learn from each other and whatever our lives are teaching us.
Our group begins on January 4th, 2023. If this interests you, I encourage you to listen to your heart and ask, “Does this call to me?” “Am I willing, at this time, to engage in a deeper practice with others?” and, “Is the timing accurate for me to do this?” If the answer is an unequivocal “Yes!” please email me with your request to join the group.
Whatever path you take, I wish you the best on your journey, and may you find your own Piglet to nurture and love.
Warmly,
Tammy
*(Please note that openings are available on a first come, first served basis. This group is for those that have experience of Conscious Wayfinding through classes or individual sessions. Those that do not have this experience will be considered on an individual basis.)